Tag Archives: culture

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

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Farm Visit 9-26-10 036

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have often wondered who ‘ they’ are because there seems to be a lot of ‘them’. Nevertheless, I believe the statement rings true. Take this Showgirl chicken for instance. Some of her jealous friends say she just had her hair done and beak polished, but that is not the case-her beauty is natural. Below is my son with another Showgirl-lovely isn’t she? No problem with these bird’s self-image. How about you? Regardless if you have a bad hair day, a perceived imperfection or have been criticized for your appearance, there is still beauty…it’s just that not everyone sees it. And in our culture today, having the ‘right’ looks and clothing is over-emphasized and valued way more than is healthy. So, here’s hoping you like what you see when you look in a mirror. And, if you don’t, get a new mirror…or new friends…or family. But change something because you can’t afford to experience an abundant life while feeling inferior 24/7. All of us (humans) are created in the image of God so we all possess His perfect qualities, just not in the same proportion. Whether born with a serious defect, were maimed in an accident or appear stunningly beautiful on the outside, we are all the same inside…and that’s what really matters. And the Beholder is the most important one who sees you from the inside out, and simply says, “Beautiful”. What we do with that beauty is up to us, and for others to assist us when needed.

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The Soul of a Coffee Shop

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Tuesday's CoffeeWhile visiting a well-known-chain coffee shop during the Christmas holiday, I decided to sit for a while and enjoy my drink rather than scoot out the door to my next destination.
The cacophony of sounds which embellished this locale reminded me of an orchestra tuning their instruments prior to a performance. At first the sounds seemed like unorganized noise – and could even be considered annoying if in a grumpy mood. But since I slowed down that morning, I heard instead, a strange harmony.

As I listened, I heard eclectic Christmas music playing through the overhead speakers; steamers making hot milk and froth for lattes and cappuccinos; employees taking and repeating orders; a middle-aged man talking with a younger man about weekly events and faith (a Bible lay on the table); two men sharing stories at a perimeter table; the gentle clicking of a young woman typing away on her laptop; the shuffling of the morning newspaper; and the constant stream of people coming and going while exchanging pleasantries and orders with the staff. And, of course, continuous texting.

Most of the customers were in a hurry, but a few not so much. They seemed to be the frequent visitors known by manager and employees alike. There were somber-looking people and joy-filled souls, and preoccupied folk from all walks of life. Some ordered regular coffee, but most selected specialty drinks, custom-made to their particular tastes. Many of these specialty drinks are rather expensive, too, but this is an affluent community and the average customer wants for little materially. Nevertheless, there are needs…there always are.

As I sat listening and watching the steady flow of consumers and busy staff, I realized that this coffee shop (like most) represents a cross-section of our current culture. Some of the people I witnessed could be on the verge of a collapse: emotional, relational, career-wise, health related or possibly financial. Most, I suspect, struggle with something. I certainly do. This much I know…everyone has a story. Some are tragic while some are remarkable and inspiring. Most fall somewhere in between. Perhaps this is why we are drawn to the exceptional, the heroic, and the inspirational. Average can seem so boring.

If we are honest, the majority of us see ourselves as average – and we probably are. There is nothing wrong with that, for without average, we wouldn’t have exceptional. Those who are exceptional-who excel above most-are flaunted and often placed on precarious pedestals of admiration. To be considered the best or most popular at something is alluring. Haven’t we all thought what it would be like to be the best athlete, musician, surgeon, writer, race car driver, entertainer, etc.? And yet, if we actually achieved this vaulted status, we would become susceptible to a host of potential problems, such as loss of privacy, inflated egos, self-absorption, detachment from average people and average lives, forgetting those in poverty, and the list goes on. We’ve all read stories of celebrities and athletes who still struggle to find love and acceptance, despite having achieved fame and worldly success. So many dream of achieving some sort of remarkable status or gaining peace of mind, but, instead, find ourselves miserable, especially during the holidays.

I think most of us try too hard in just about everything we do. Whether at work, at home or at play, we push-push-push until we have nothing left to give. Life becomes a balancing act, and peace and contentment are forced out of the daily equation. We miss out on the simple act of living-of being alive. There is this constant striving for that piece of golden fruit which is just out of our reach. When we fail to secure it, we panic inwardly and ask ourselves, ” Why not me?”. When some of us do grab onto it, it soon loses its luster and we become dissatisfied again. We humans are masters at repeating this cycle.

With the world seemingly spinning out of control, we become even more anxious. This tension leads to lives devoid of hope, and ultimately, joy. I know about anxiety and striving and even self-pity. I don’t come to you as one who possesses exceptional anything or as living a care-free life. On the contrary, 2015 has been a very difficult year for many reasons. Yet, I awakened today. No chalk lines outlining my body. Inward wounds perhaps, but I am still alive and have eternal promises spoken to me by the only One who can legitimately offer and secure them. Yes, this source is Christ. His love is extravagant, and far better than any of the gifts we may receive or give.

My Christmas wish for all is to find Him who seeks us. By doing so, all of our problems won’t vanish immediately, but our souls will be renewed, and a sense of peace and joy will eventually take residence. This world has nothing close to compete with this gift of love filled with grace. His fruit will never tarnish nor fade. Merry Christmas !

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Does Father Know Best ?

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11-16-13 005Father Knows Best was an idyllic weekly show that aired on television from 1954 to 1960. It starred Robert Young and Jane Wyatt, along with their three fictional children. The show was based on a middle class family in a suburban midwest town. It was a drama / comedy type show which portrayed dad as a thoughtful father who offered sage advice and a mom who was the voice of reason. Much of my description comes from Wikipedia, and is accurate. Fast forward to 2014 and what does father look like in today’s culture. Here’s my observation. Hollywood and advertisers have made father to look like a buffoon and is generally the laughing-stock of most shows and commercials. Gone are the days where father may have known best, and instead we find father (if he is even around) as not knowing how to do anything. If he attempts something which requires any degree of difficulty or intelligence, he fails. However, mom can do no wrong and performs the man’s tasks with relative ease.
The feminist revolution which began in the 60s turned our culture upside down as far as roles and perceptions are concerned. I will be the first to acknowledge that there were (and still are) inequalities among the sexes in America. Many of these have been corrected, but often at the expense of our understanding of what real fatherhood looks like. But, it goes deeper than that, as the change in roles and perceptions are really about men in general-the American male, to be exact. And, if he happens to be a Christian father with moral convictions, watch out as the rhetoric can become ugly.
Was there ever a perfect father like Jim in this TV show? No. Was there ever a mom who always was the voice of reason as was Jane? Again, no. But why have the tables flipped so drastically that men have been demoted to bumbling idiots and yet women are portrayed as smarter and better equipped to handle any situation or crisis? This is not to say that in some cases women are better equipped, but not unilaterally so. Also, I do recognize that guys can act like children at times. and deserve some criticism.
I acknowledge that Father Knows Best created a quasi-accurate portrayal in its presentation of the common family. To begin with that family was white middle class and only dealt with issues of little cultural significance. Then, like today, our culture was diverse. There were many classes, many colors, many economic variances, many social issues and many barriers. Fortunately, many of the negative issues of that time have been corrected, or at least have improved. But not the American male. No sir. He is portrayed as incompetent, bigoted, foolish, silly and dumb. Actually, I know some of those folks myself, but they are in the minority and not the majority as we are led to believe. Wow, I really do know some of those guys!
One of the few times the media portrays fathers (and men in general) as being reasonable, smart and manly is around Father’s Day. The reason…consumerism and the selling of goods to make money. Once this holiday is over the advertising media will revert to its previous froth that men are no longer manly.
Most of the men I have known, and now know; and most of the fathers I have known, and now know are not morons. Imperfect, yes, but they have brains, they work hard, they make wise decisions and give prudent advice, they lead by example and are humble. Of course, there are always exceptions. I submit to you that fathers, when they can be found with their families, are much better creatures than we have been led to believe over the past fifty years. As a side note, the case of the missing father is a deep issue which requires more time and space than I can offer in this post.

Is there room for improvement? Yes. However, let us start from a better premise which states that fathers (and men) in America are thoughtful, reasonable, intelligent, creative, strong, kind and wise human beings who care about their families and our culture. Some respect would be a nice change of pace. Does father know best? Not always, but more often than not. If my dad were here, I would tell him so. Perhaps you should, too. Hopefully, he is deserving of such praise.

P.S. The photo is of my father-in-law, taken recently with my cell phone. I love Charlie.

P.S.S. This post is not a rant, but simply something that has bothered me for a while and is strictly my opinion. I hope no one has concluded that I do not value women because I do very much. Also, this dynamic about males not being respected in our culture (my perception) may not apply to other cultures, and I understand that.