Yesterday

“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday”. The Beatles

I found out yesterday that my best childhood friend died last week. Bob and I were mates from elementary grades through high school, and a bit beyond. He was my best man in our wedding and a good friend to Cheryl, too. We haven’t been in personal contact for years, but he is indelibly etched in my fondest remembrances. Writing this piece creates a few tears as I realize that I cannot reach him again as was our plan for next year.

I ask myself, “Do I miss Bob that much or is it the memories I miss so desperately?”. Both, I conclude, because he and they are intricately tied together. My childhood and coming-of-age years are a mixed-bag so-to-speak. They were some of the most wonderful days of my life. If you’re like me and led a somewhat ‘normal’ life, they conjure up a potpourri of feelings ranging from extreme exuberance to numbing insecurity. Some of the mischief Bob and I got into was just plain craziness, and surprisingly we survived.

No matter, as those days are behind us. However, my association with Bob did positively contribute to my becoming a more responsible person (however one wants to describe this attribute). Although I literally missed decades of spending time with my friend, I believe his integrity and easy-going attitude, honed while still young, helped me navigate a particular dysfunctional period of my youth.

Lewis Carroll once quipped, “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then”. I have pondered this statement and am still trying to discern if I agree with it. But what I do know is that life’s experiences affect us in countless ways. There are no “Do Overs” and dwelling on regrets doesn’t benefit anyone. Fortunately, I do believe in the positive power of “Fresh Starts”.

Regardless of where one may land while contemplating Lewis’ point-of-view, there seems to be something wonderful about ‘living in the moment’. As Carly Simon famously sang, “These are the good old days”. Let’s hope so, anyway.

Friends

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What constitutes being a friend? If it means covering each other’s back then these guys are friends. If it means spending lots of time together then these guys are friends. If it means liking and doing the same stuff together then these guys are friends. If it means having disagreements, but loving one another anyway, then, most likely, these guys are friends. And, if it means sacrificing oneself on behalf of the other then these guys would probably do that which makes them very good friends.

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These stallions appear to be best friends, if I can say that about horses. They rest together, graze together, stand together and trot together. These two are never apart regardless of the season. I count myself fortunate to observe them regularly. Occasionally, I’ll stop.

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When they run to greet me, if for no other reason than out of curiosity, a smile forms on my face as I witness their exuberance.

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They are a friendly and handsome pair, and always appear to be in fine shape.

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As I witness the brotherhood that exists between these two equines, I stop for a moment and consider my friends, past and present. I also consider what kind of a friend I am and have been. To be sure, I have disappointed more than a few souls. And, I have been disappointed and hurt as a result of others who I considered close friends. There is a proverb which states, “One who has many unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”. I know that friend, and want to be like Him.